{"id":22092,"date":"2023-10-30T08:35:42","date_gmt":"2023-10-30T13:35:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/usclubsoccer.org\/?p=22092"},"modified":"2023-10-30T14:44:12","modified_gmt":"2023-10-30T19:44:12","slug":"how-to-cope-with-losing-via-onrise","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/usclubsoccer.org\/how-to-cope-with-losing-via-onrise\/","title":{"rendered":"How to cope with losing as an athlete, coach and a parent (via Onrise)"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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How to cope with losing as an athlete, coach and a parent (via Onrise)<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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Editor\u2019s Note (Oct. 30, 2023)<\/u>: This article was submitted by Onrise<\/a>, which US Club Soccer has partnered with for ongoing educational resources related to mental health.<\/em><\/p>

Every team, every child, every parent and every coaching style is unique. Use methods in this article that match your style and add them to your toolkit. Losses will come; we just have to be prepared for how to respond. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Let\u2019s start with a coach\u2019s perspective. Coaches: you are steering the ship of your team.<\/strong> You create the narrative that your team will walk away with. While this may seem like a small coaching moment, these lessons learned from tough losses can stick with athletes forever. After a tough loss, take a moment to maintain a normal post-game response. Cool down as usual, thank the fans as usual, and stretch as usual. When you speak to your athletes, acknowledge what you are proud of. Be sure to choose a few non-performance based wins, such as exemplary leadership, grit or sportsmanship. Allow your team to share any reflections they have or want to share. When closing out, be sure to help your team channel disappointment into determination; mistakes are learning experiences. Be sure to follow up with an email when you have had time to reflect on the game or watch the film. At the end of the day, you are the adult guiding this team; be a model.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Parents: we know this can be a difficult spot for you, as well.<\/strong> Of course, we love to watch our children win games; it\u2019s so fun! But how should you respond if and when they do not win? When your child walks over, remain neutral. If you usually give them a hug or a high five, do that! Try to remain neutral until you get to the car. When you\u2019re there, ask how they\u2019re feeling. Be sure to acknowledge your child\u2019s feelings or disappointments. Try to actively validate their feelings without judgment. Active validation can sound like, \u201cthat sounds really frustrating\u201d or \u201cI can understand why you\u2019re feeling that way.\u201d Non-verbal active validation is important, too. Try maintaining eye contact, reflecting what they\u2019re saying in your facial expressions or putting a comforting hand on their shoulder. If they\u2019re in the mood to talk about it, ask about the coaches\u2019 messaging. If the messaging was positive, such as \u201cturning disappointment into determination,\u201d then mirror this messaging, as well. Additionally, allow your child space and time to be upset. This is natural and normal.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Now, for a medical perspective from Dr. Brenda McBride, Chief Medical Officer at Onrise: \u201cOne of the greatest gifts a parents can give children is teaching them to navigate tough situations with positivity and grace. Adverse events cause a spike in cortisol and an imbalance in brain chemicals that modulate mood. The more tools they have to help remain even-tempered (or quickly return to an even-tempered state after an acceptable period of anger and disappointment), the less depression and anxiety will ensue, and they will be able to think and perform better all around.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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