{"id":23709,"date":"2024-03-18T15:06:07","date_gmt":"2024-03-18T20:06:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/usclubsoccer.org\/?p=23709"},"modified":"2024-03-18T15:19:40","modified_gmt":"2024-03-18T20:19:40","slug":"tackling-tough-conversations-via-onrise","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/usclubsoccer.org\/tackling-tough-conversations-via-onrise\/","title":{"rendered":"How to have tough conversations as a coach and player (via Onrise)"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"23709\" class=\"elementor elementor-23709\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-5bc7478 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"5bc7478\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-f5ff308\" data-id=\"f5ff308\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b450a8d elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"b450a8d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">How to have tough conversations as a coach and player (via Onrise)<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-4b3c9d1 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"4b3c9d1\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-3cc0345\" data-id=\"3cc0345\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-afab279 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"afab279\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><em><u>Editor\u2019s<\/u><u> Note (March 18, 2024)<\/u>: This article was submitted by <a href=\"https:\/\/onrisecare.com\/player-care\/\">Onrise<\/a>, which US Club Soccer has partnered with for ongoing educational resources related to mental health. The author, Tasha Saunders, is the VP of Player Care at Onrise. Tasha has her Player Care Certification and has completed training in Mental Health First Aid training for Adults and Youth. She grew up playing competitive soccer and\u00a0continued her career at Sewanee as a four-year starter.<\/em><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Tough conversations are a skill finessed over the course of a lifetime. The older you get, the more experience you have with tricky conversations, but they don\u2019t always get easier. Here are some tools to help you navigate tough conversations as a coach and player.\u00a0 <\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:278}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Some of the best guidelines to use when going into tough conversations are: <\/span><\/p><ul><li><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Give grace<\/span><\/li><li><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Seek understanding<\/span><\/li><li><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Assume best intent<\/span><\/li><li><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Listen to understand<\/span><\/li><\/ul><p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">When we assume the best intent in someone, we are going into a conversation with the hopes of walking away from it on a better foot. When we\u2019re not assuming best intentions, we are often going into the conversation looking for a \u201cgotcha\u201d moment.\u00a0 Assuming the best intentions also means giving grace. When we are worked up about a situation, we often say things we don\u2019t mean because feelings are elevated. Give the other person the chance to share how they feel and the ability to take back a statement if that isn\u2019t what they truly meant. <\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:278}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">When we listen to understand, this can best be practiced by not speaking for the other person. If you\u2019re having a hard time understanding what they truly mean, before responding, check with them, &#8220;What I think I heard you say was _____; is that what you <em>meant?&#8221;<\/em><\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Having these guidelines going into a tough conversation can lead towards a positive outcome where both parties are on the same page.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:278}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"auto\"><strong>Players, when having a tough conversation with your coach, choose a good time to speak with them &#8211; usually after practice.<\/strong> Ask your coach if you can walk and talk. When you\u2019re able to walk with them, you can get some space from your team, but it can also help with nerves. When you\u2019re walking, you don\u2019t have to focus as much on looking your coach in the eyes, or thinking about whether or not you look nervous. Start with what is on your mind. Try your best to state the facts that you know, state what you are trying to understand, and then allow them to share their side. For example, \u201cCoach, I wanted to speak with you about the game last weekend. Is now a good time to walk and talk about this? I am trying to understand why I did not play in the game. I showed up to every practice, and I have been trying my best.\u201d From here, instead of getting into all the little details, or sharing what other players may have done, stick with what was in your control. Utilize \u201cI\u201d statements: \u201c<em>I<\/em> am trying to understand why<\/span><i><span data-contrast=\"auto\"> I<\/span><\/i><span data-contrast=\"auto\"> did not play in the game last weekend. <\/span><i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">I<\/span><\/i><span data-contrast=\"auto\"> showed up to every practice. <\/span><i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">I <\/span><\/i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">have been trying my best.\u201d Once your coach shares their answer, make sure you have next steps. You can ask as follows, \u201cThank you coach, I now better understand what happened. What can <\/span><i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">I<\/span><\/i><span data-contrast=\"auto\"> do better next time?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:278}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Players, also make sure to give your coaches grace. Especially in the older recruiting years, there may be a lot of reasons that you don\u2019t know about that a coach cannot share with you yet. During a tournament my junior year, a college coach came to watch me play but only my coach knew about it. I was not told until after the game that the coach was there. At the start of the game, I was told to play a different position (so that the coach could watch me at that spot and to see my ability to be a versatile player). Initially, I was frustrated with the coach\u2019s choice to play me on the outside, but in hindsight, I realized that it was a decision made for my benefit. Give your coaches grace, and when going into a tough conversation, seek understanding.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:278}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"auto\"><strong>Coaches, address the best ways and times for your team to speak with you.<\/strong> Would you prefer they talk to you before a practice session or after a practice session? Would you prefer they call you? If so, at what times? Depending on the age, are these conversations parents should also be involved in? Coaches can also utilize the walk-and-talk method. Conversations are much easier for athletes when they aren\u2019t having to sit down across from you and speak with you. Think about the tough conversations that you have had; it\u2019s much easier to do them sitting next to each other in a car or basketball game than looking across the dining room table. The walk-and-talk method is a great way to also publicly have a one-on-one conversation with an athlete.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:278}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Overall, when we let a situation build up, it becomes worse. When we take a substantial amount of time between the event and addressing it, our brains become incredibly anxious and can create negative thought patterns. When we start thinking about all the possible \u201cwhat if\u201d scenarios, we make the situation worse. When we replay the problem in our head and imagine the worst-case scenarios, it further exacerbates the stress and anxiety. Take one night to sleep on the problem; then, address it as soon as possible. <\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Remember: give grace, seek understanding, assume best intent, and listen to understand.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-0584a25 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"0584a25\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-c9a8ada\" data-id=\"c9a8ada\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1a15c77 elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"1a15c77\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-0e7ab11 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"0e7ab11\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-5e41108\" data-id=\"5e41108\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-86dd263 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"86dd263\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">ABOUT ONRISE<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-1d8d3be elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"1d8d3be\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-8fd44ab\" data-id=\"8fd44ab\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a1bc1ce elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"a1bc1ce\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span class=\"TextRun Highlight SCXW41996719 BCX4\" lang=\"EN-US\" xml:lang=\"EN-US\" data-contrast=\"none\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SpellingErrorV2Themed SCXW41996719 BCX4\">Onrise<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW41996719 BCX4\"> is a compassionate player care and mental health company. <\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW41996719 BCX4\">We are a place where retired athletes and clinicians unite to revolutionize athlete mental health care. <\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW41996719 BCX4\">At <\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SpellingErrorV2Themed SCXW41996719 BCX4\">Onrise,<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW41996719 BCX4\"> we believe that everyone needs efficient strategies to cope with mental challenges both on and off the field. From game day to a big test day, our mission is to ensure that athletes have access to high-<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun ContextualSpellingAndGrammarErrorV2Themed SCXW41996719 BCX4\">quality<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun ContextualSpellingAndGrammarErrorV2Themed SCXW41996719 BCX4\"> athlete to<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW41996719 BCX4\"> athlete support<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW41996719 BCX4\">, <\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW41996719 BCX4\">therapy, and <\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW41996719 BCX4\">psychiatric care, regardless of their circumstances. Check out <\/span><\/span><a class=\"Hyperlink SCXW41996719 BCX4\" href=\"http:\/\/www.onrisecare.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><span class=\"TextRun Highlight Underlined SCXW41996719 BCX4\" lang=\"EN-US\" xml:lang=\"EN-US\" data-contrast=\"none\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW41996719 BCX4\">our website<\/span><\/span><\/a><span class=\"TextRun Highlight SCXW41996719 BCX4\" lang=\"EN-US\" xml:lang=\"EN-US\" data-contrast=\"none\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW41996719 BCX4\"> for more information.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How to have tough conversations as a coach and player (via Onrise) Editor\u2019s Note (March 18, 2024): This article was submitted by Onrise, which US Club Soccer has partnered with for ongoing educational resources related to mental health. The author,<\/p>\n<p><a class=\"btn btn-primary\" href=\"https:\/\/usclubsoccer.org\/tackling-tough-conversations-via-onrise\/\"> Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":26,"featured_media":19239,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[31,32,93,19],"tags":[],"table_tags":[],"class_list":["post-23709","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-home","category-news","category-partners-sponsors","category-spotlight"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/usclubsoccer.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23709","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/usclubsoccer.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/usclubsoccer.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usclubsoccer.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/26"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usclubsoccer.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23709"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/usclubsoccer.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23709\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usclubsoccer.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19239"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/usclubsoccer.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23709"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usclubsoccer.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23709"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usclubsoccer.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23709"},{"taxonomy":"table_tags","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usclubsoccer.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/table_tags?post=23709"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}